


The Rogue Possum and the Asgardian Creation Myth

by lilithtorch2



Series: Adventures of the Rogue Possum [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Creation Myth, F/M, Family, Gen, If you watched the same show I did you know what the rogue possum is about, Rogue possum, The Gossiping and Bickering Series (related), Thor can't believe this is happening to him, What really happened?, belated Christmas story, chapter 2: optional reading - what really happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 11:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithtorch2/pseuds/lilithtorch2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Thor's dismay, younger and future generations of Asgardians begin to adopt the new version of the Asgardian creation myth as the official one. Only Thor, his family, the Warriors Three, and the Avengers know how the myth even got started.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Asgardian Creation Myth

**Author's Note:**

> Was thinking of Finn and the Fire Princess when I wrote the myth. I have always wondered how legends begin. Really, the first chapter works fine on its own...but I couldn't help myself.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Christmas Day, Thor and Jane Odinson's three children beg their mother to tell the story of how Asgard and the whole universe was created.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to make the format similar to The Princess Bride.

Jane and Thor Odinson’s eldest child, Donald, an aerospace engineering major at M.I.T., was returning to the Odinson household for winter break. He was helping his mother and aunt Darcy Lewis prepare for the Christmas meal. Per tradition, one of the three Odinson children, Donald (age eighteen), Raven (age thirteen) or Athena (age five) would pester their mother (they learned early on not to ask their father) about one of the stories she would always tell each year at Christmas.

“Mommmmm." It was Donald's turn to whine this year. “You know that story you always like to tell on Christmas?”

“Which one?” Jane smiled. “The one about the Frost Giants? Or the tree Yggdrasil?”

“ _Motherrr_ you know which one I’m talking about!” Donald put his hands together to beg his mother to re-tell the story.

Athena and Raven, who were helping their Aunt Darcy with the cookies, joined in. “Don, are you talking about the Asgardian creation myth? Mommieeeeeeee, teellllll us!”

“Yes, _mom_ ,” Darcy said, trying not to snicker, “tell us how Asgard and the whole universe was created.”

Thor, who was helping with the Christmas ham, heaved a huge sigh. He had to listen to this story every single year and it wasn’t even the story that he grew up with. Worse, he even knew _how_ that story (the one his children wanted to hear) got created in the first place and that it varied depending on who told the story and when. Younger generations of Asgardians generally ignored the traditional creation myth, opting for the more romantic version and embellishing the details wherever they could. Their stories were nearly identical to the one that his lovely wife was about to tell their three impressionable children. Jane began:

There was a legend passed down from generation to generation of the Frost Assassin of the Northern Ice and the Infernal Demoness of the Southern Flames. The Frost Assassin had been frozen in ice for centuries, and he only thawed out when the flames from the Infernal Demoness's fingertips warmed the winter for one brief but powerful moment. He was grateful to the Demoness for saving his life-

"He defected from the country of Russia," Thor said plainly, "they only call her that because of her hair."

Thor's beautiful wife ignored him as she continued the story.

As the Frost Assassin and the Infernal Demoness spent more time together on dangerous adventures fighting frost giants and dragons and Dark Elves, they gradually began to discover that they had somehow fallen in love with each other.

“Aww, mama,” the youngest of Jane’s three children, Athena, interrupted Jane, “that’s so sweet! Was it happily ever after?”

“Not yet, dear.”

"But I want a happily ever after!"

"Be patient," Donald instructed his little sister.

Unfortunately, an oracle foretold that their burst of intense romance would spell destruction of the whole universe and the two ethereal creatures were forced to separate; the assassin was caged in the coldest north while the Infernal Demoness was chained to the southernmost flames, never to see each other again. For centuries, they pined after each other-

“'Pining after each other' is one way to put it,” Darcy snarked, and Jane shushed her.

“No matter how many times you tell this story, mom, that oracle is still a jerk,” Donald complained.

“I know, sweetie,” Jane agreed.

“That’s so sad,” Athena said, with real tears in her eyes, “why would they do something horrible to the assassin and his lady?”

“Because they’ll destroy the universe if they ever get together.” Thor explained. He gave a knowing look to his wife. “And you know in your heart that it is true, sweet Jane. I am told they almost summoned the Chitauri to our home again.”

Jane glared at her husband and continued.

Even though they were separated, they never stopped trying to find each other. They vowed they would always be together, even if they had to cross all of time and space to do it. Eventually, the assassin found the elusive Bifrost Bridge, guarded by the great warrior Heimdall, who did not let him pass.

“Oh no!” Athena said, right on cue.

“Well he didn’t let the assassin pass _at first_ , Athena,” Raven assured her sister. She knew the story almost as well as her mother did.

The assassin told the guardian of the Bridge his story, a tale of love and forbidden romance. He told the guardian how beautiful his lover was even though her flames could probably kill him in an instant. He was willing to do anything just to see her again. If only Heimdall would just let him pass, the assassin cried. He even offered the guardian his only precious sword, forged from the coldest caves in the North. So the guardian, out of sympathy for the assassin and his demoness, let the man through.

“That’s not how it happened.” Thor muttered, still staring at the Christmas ham.

“Spoilsport,” Darcy chided Thor.

And when the assassin passed through the bridge, he found his lover lying on the ash in despair, her own flames wilting from centuries of grief. “My lady,” the assassin cried to her, “I’m here! I’m here!” The lover looked up to find the assassin running toward her, and as he ran closer and closer, the fires on her body flamed higher as the life returned to her spirit. "Assassin...I missed you so much!"

At long last, the union between ice and fire commenced-

“It only started because of a wild squirrel,” Thor huffed, now slicing up some of the ham.

“There’s no squirrel in this story, papa!” Athena corrected her father innocently, even though Donald made an odd sound, earning a glare from his mother.

The assassin and his lady of fire… _kissed_ (here Darcy sniggered) for the first time in centuries. As it turned out, the oracle misinterpreted her vision; the two beings, from just one single kiss, broke the universe in pieces, this was true, but nothing had been destroyed after all. The pieces were now known as the Nine Realms: Alfheim, home of the Light Elves; Hel, the realm of the dead; Midgard, or Earth, where we live; Jotunheim, the home of the giants; Muspelheim, home of the Demons; Nidavellir, home of the dwarves; Svartalfheim, home of the Dark Elves; Vanaheim, home of the Vanir; and Asgard, where your father is from.

“I heard that a plane needed to be re-made,” Thor added.

“Father, you’re messing up the story,” Donald scolded his dad, even though he was trying hard not to laugh either.

“And what happened next, mother?” Raven wanted to hear the rest of the story.

“Yeah, mommy.” Athena repeated her sister's words, oblivious to the comments around her. "What happened next?"

The assassin of the ice and the demoness of the fire disappeared into each other's arms after they kissed, and they lived happily ever after.

“Never get tired of hearing that part.” Raven grinned. "I've always loved 'happily ever after.'" Her brother agreed.

“What a romantic story,” Darcy concluded. “If only it were true…” She started to say something else, but Jane immediately elbowed her in the arm and mouthed to her, _Not in front of the children!_

As for Thor, he only sighed again at having heard the same story for years.

“Well, _Thor Odinson,_ my _wonderful_ husband,” Jane said pointedly, recognizing the intention behind her husband’s sigh, “would you rather have everyone in Asgard tell the story of what Uncle Bucky and Aunt Natasha frequently like to do in their spare time instead?” Thor grumbled that her point was taken and Darcy wanted to comment on this, but Jane only threw chocolate chips at her.

The two eldest children stifled their giggles by eating some freshly baked cookies while Athena asked innocently, “What _do_ they like to do in their spare time, mama?”

Unsmiling, Thor answered for Jane. “They like to chase squirrels, dear daughter of mine.”

“Oh, hush!” Jane shushed him with a wave of her hand. “And for your information, it's called _possums._ ”


	2. What Really Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff need to get a room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to imagine how an Asgardian wedding would go.
> 
> I don't know if you can just tell The Destroyer, "Everything is fine!" And he'll stop, but if you can't actually do that, then he is acting OOC here
> 
> Odin is actually Odin in this story and he and Frigga are just fine

Thor and Jane already had a small wedding in Midgard with Jane’s closest family and friends (including Darcy Lewis, Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Natasha Romanoff), but they were also doing the Asgardian wedding for Thor’s family. Naturally, the Avengers were invited to attend. Because Fury was unable to make it to the wedding, Agent Phil Coulson went in his place. They were all dressed in ceremonial robes traditional of an Asgardian wedding guest colored in subdued grey and forest hues so as not to overshadow the Asgardian bride.

The first phase of the wedding went like any traditional Midgardian wedding. The music played (it sounded like Celtic music) while the guests found their seats one by one. After, soldiers formed a makeshift aisle down the center of the room, holding their ceremonial staffs upright.  The officiant of the wedding strolled to the pew in the front of the ceremonial room. The Avengers could hear the loud beats of the drums, and Thor and the Warriors Three marched down the aisle next. Thor was clad in a winged helmet and ceremonial armor made of the finest Asgardian metal and a bright snowy cape streamed from behind him. His armor gleamed so brightly under the light that he appeared like the sun; his brothers, in their dark metallic armor were the silver moons around him. Darcy entered next, to melodic stringed instruments, wearing a long sleeved bridesmaid gown in shades of pink, red and white. With her gleaming headpiece, red diamond earrings, and silver pendant, she resembled a medieval princess. Clint couldn’t help whistling at Darcy, grinning approvingly at her dress, and Darcy rolled her eyes but grinned back at him. Throughout the whole procession, Thor waited anxiously for his wife-to-be; he knew what the traditional Asgardian bride’s dress would look like, but he had no idea how it would look on Jane.

The music halted dramatically, and switched to traditional Asgardian music that signified the bride, the main event, had arrived. The Avengers could see Thor gulp as he waited for Jane to walk down the aisle.

There were excited gasps as Jane finally entered the room, and Thor almost teared up at the sight of his lovely bride.

Unlike Thor, she did not wear a winged helmet, but large white Asgardian flowers resembling an ethereal cloud that rested peacefully on her head, outlining the long hair flowing down from her face in cascading curls of brown. Jane, clutching a demure bouquet of flowers, was draped in white and silver. Bright silver earrings dangled delicately from either side of her face and rang like little bells as she moved. As she strode closer to Thor, she smiled nervously at him and he knew that she was trying her hardest not to trip. The dress, after all, was much more extravagant and intricate than her more practical (but no less beautiful) Midgardian gown. Really, Jane could have entered the room in her regular Midgardian clothes, and it would not have made much difference to him; she was more angelic than anything he had ever seen.

While the officiant spoke, there was an unexpected earthquake and small meteors falling from the darkened sky, but it ended as quickly as it came, and the skies brightened again. Jane toppled forward when it happened, losing her balance, and Thor caught her, eliciting joyful “aaw’s” from the guests in attendance. The happy couple beamed at everyone as the ceremony resumed.

* * *

“Congratulations, you two!” Tony said to the newlyweds afterward as everyone prepared for the second phase of their wedding where they would all celebrate and dance and drink for a full two weeks.

“Hold on a minute…” Phil Coulson warned, looking around. “Are we forgetting anyone?”

Clint Barton immediately took roll call and concluded, “The rogue possum has struck again, sir.”

“Thor, what is this ‘rogue possum’?” Volstagg asked of his brother curiously.

“I believe it is a squirrel,” Thor affirmed.

“Is that what the Midgardians are calling it these days?” Fandral grinned. He might have used an excuse similar to the ‘rogue possum’ before.

Jane realized something. “You know,” she whispered to Steve, “Bucky and Natasha came by to see me before I walked down the aisle. They seemed like they were in a rush.”

“Of _course_ they were,” Steve whispered back, facepalming.

Thor, anticipating trouble, motioned for everyone to spread out and search for Bucky and Natasha while he asked Hogun and Volstagg to stall the rest of the wedding festivities until he and Jane returned. Oddly, Fandral wanted to join in the search; it seemed like he figured out what had happened to Bucky and Natasha. After hours of searching, there was only one place in all of Asgard that no one had checked yet: Odin’s Trophy Room. The two guards of the room, upon seeing Thor walk mightily toward them, casually let him and his group in.

“By the gods!”

Bucky was lying on top of Natasha and their faces were touching. They were murmuring sweet Russian to each other and Natasha was about to get on top of Bucky until they heard the Asgardian cry out in shock. They swiftly pulled away from each other and grabbed the Asgardian garb on the floor to cover themselves.

“How did you get in here?” Steve asked (Fandral wondered the same thing; if he had known how, he would have brought an attractive lady to the room ages ago).

Thor glanced at Fandral as if he had something do with this; Fandral only shrugged.

To answer Steve’s question, Bucky was about to joke about the rogue possum, but Natasha shushed him and, red-faced, the couple promptly grabbed their Asgardian garb and found a dark corner of the room to get dressed. After they returned a mysterious artifact to its original location and stepped into the light, Fandral spoke up first before anyone else could, acknowledging his and Bucky’s old rivalry.

“Sir James Barnes, _really_!” He chastised the man in a mocking tone. “Thor Odinson has already enlightened me of your relationship with Natalia. If you simply desired to warn me away from her personally, you could have just _informed_ me, it wasn’t necessary to make such a vivid display of it!”

Bucky glared at Fandral and was about to start a fight with him until Natasha kissed Bucky affectionately on the neck to placate him. Distracted, he turned to Natasha and placed a not-so-chaste kiss on her forehead, growling at her in Russian. She responded with a light giggle and growled back-

“A- _hem_!” Phil made a point of coughing; he did not want to see firsthand how Bucky and Natasha worked together on their unofficial pest control mission. “So, Thor, have we now violated all kinds of tradition here? What do we do?”

“No…” Fandral answered innocently (Thor wondered how he would know that). “But I wonder how our King will take this news…” (Thankfully, when Thor and his brothers told Odin the story afterward, Odin was in a great mood.)

“Maybe your Pop will be lenient, Thor." Tony reasoned. "But you guys…” He was referring to Bucky and Natasha now. “How did you get past the Destroyer?”

“I don’t follow,” Bucky said, dazed. He and Natasha were still trying to switch back into ‘Thor and Jane’s wedding guests’ mode.

At that moment, the Destroyer towered menacingly above the group.

“Everything is fine,” Thor said coolly, and the Destroyer stomped away.

Jane, who had finally stopped laughing at the sight of Bucky and Natasha, advised the two sternly:

“There _is_ a comfortable room where you could have enjoyed your privacy, you guys, without nearly destroying half of Asgard. If you really needed to get it out of your system that badly, you should have asked one of the ladies in waiting. No wait, that sounded wrong. You know what...I’ll just show you where the room is. You can stay there…until it's time to go back home.”

Bucky and Natasha mumbled their thanks as Jane escorted them out of the room and far away from Thor's wrath.

“And believe me,” Tony called out to the couple as they left, “we’ll _definitely_ let you know when it’s time.”

To Thor’s great perturbation, the rumor of Bucky and Natasha’s indiscretion inside his father’s Trophy Room spread like wildfire, nearly overshadowing his and Jane's wedding. Whether the two assassins were the cause of it or not was insignificant; the random earthquake and meteor shower wove their way into the stories as well. The rumor evolved and transformed faster than a Jotunheim Beast could run, and thus, the new version of the Asgardian creation myth was born.


End file.
